We are a little over half way through some kind of incredible Olympic party here in the Lower Mainland and Whistler. Depending on your age, you are not going to see anything like this again in Vancouver in your lifetime. I know I won’t because my age is…well…it’s bigger than a breadbox. If you are born today, and you live to 2160, which is entirely possible, depending on how much of that pro-biotic yogurt you eat, you might witness another event that focuses the world’s attention on Vancouver, but I’m trying to imagine what that could be. Alien spaceships landing at Georgia & Burrard? That might do it. I can see the news clip now:
ALIEN: Greetings human. We have come to your planet to take part in the 2010 Olympics PARTYYY! Take me to your Holland Heineken House.
BIKE COURIER: Whoaa, bummer dude. You’re like 150 years tardy.
ALIEN: WHAT?? You idiot, Zirtnud!! I told you the GPS was sending us the LONG way!! Well human, if there are no Olympics, can we still get a Japadog we have heard so much about?
BIKE COURIER: Affirmative dude. WASABIII!
So, seeing as this is a once in a lifetime thing, for me at least, I thought I would take this opportunity to gush just a smidge. I think it’s all FANTASTIC! Pretty much from top to bottom. Especially the WEATHER!! Oh sure, we could have had more snow up on Cypress, but look at this place. Have you seen the shots on CTV from the broadcast centre? It’s like tourism porn. In the 90s when I had a show on CBC radio, I travelled to every part of this country. I saw the Yukon in March, where it was -20, and I got to ride in a dog sled, and learned about flying poop, but that’s another story. I was in the Northwest Territories the following April, where it was -78 with the wind. They called it the ‘Land of the Midnight Sun’, but I renamed it ‘Land of the Frozen Snot’, because at those temps? Man! No matter what you did, 5 seconds outside and you ended up with a frozen lump of crud hanging off your nose. I’ve been told by some people over the years, that they don’t like Vancouver because it’s too dark in the winter. They prefer the sunshine you get further east. Sure. But you can’t go out in it. If you spend more than a few minutes in that ‘sunny’ winter weather, your face freezes completely, and then it just falls OFF! And it’s pretty hard to get respect when you don’t have a face. And that’s why everyone wants to come here. Just ask that Spanish fellow from the south…Senor E. Nino.
