On this day in 1543, Mary Stuart, at nine months old, was crowned “Queen of Scots” in the Scottish town of Stirling. She immediately flew into a rage and ordered all British prisoners killed. Historians say it was probably because she was teething. She didn’t make any speeches from the throne for a few years because she hadn’t been throne-trained.
On this day in 1615, explorer Étienne Brulé arrived at the Seneca village on the east bank of the Humber River and became the first European to see what is now the City of Toronto. Toronto is an old Iroquois word that has two meanings, one was “smelt trap” and the other was “a good place to do business”. Which one do you think best describes Toronto?
On this day in 1850, California became the 31st U.S. State. When they named the state they were working on two choices for names; one was ‘California” which means in Spanish, “Land of Amazon Women”, and that was long before anyone had ever seen Pamela Anderson. The other choice was an old Austrian word, “Cleefonia” which means, “The Terminator’s Nightmare”.
On this day in 1895, the American Bowling Congress was formed. Why bowlers needed their own congress is beyond me, but their first resolution was to determine whether five pin bowlers were equal to ten pin bowlers. As usual, you get a bunch of men, form a congress and they start arguing over who has the biggest balls.
On this day in 1954, 16-year-old Marilyn Bell became the first person to swim across Lake Ontario, from Youngstown, New York to Toronto. This was the fastest human crossing of Lake Ontario until 1968, when Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau walked across the lake in only ten hours.
On this day in 1956, Elvis Presley appeared on TV for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show. Ed ordered the cameras to shoot Elvis from the waist up so we couldn’t see his swaying hips. Too perverted I guess, but then at the end of the show, Ed fondled a soft foam mouse and then kissed it. Swaying hips; sick. Fondling and kissing a foam mouse; priceless.
If your birthday is on September 9th, you share it with Harlan Sanders who was born on this day in 1890. He is best remembered as KFC’s Colonel Sanders even though he was never a Colonel. Harlan Sanders is also remembered as one of the men who made North America fat. It’s easy to figure out; if the calories in a bucket of fried chicken out-number the brain cells of the person eating it, then he will gain 50 pounds before he has licked the grease off the inside of the bucket.
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