Today in Hystery January 28th

   On this day in 1495, Pope Alexander the 6th gave his son, Cesare Borgia, as a hostage to Charles the 8th of France. This was a result of…whoa! Hold it there, pardner! You said the Pope gave his SON as a hostage? Yes, celibacy sounds like a good idea when you take your vows to become Pope, but some Popes just couldn’t keep their host in their ciborium. Five of them, or at least five that history knows of, had either wives or mistresses, or both. Pope Alexander had seven illegitimate children, giving the ‘laying on of hands’ a whole new meaning.

   On this day in 1547, 9-year-old Edward the 6th succeeded Henry the 8th as king of England. His first royal decree was to outlaw green vegetables with meals and double the amount of fried potatoes served.

   On this day in 1860, Britain formally returned the Mosquito Coast to Nicaragua. Britain also gave them back Lake Piranha, Leech Creek and Tarantula Valley.

   On this day in 1887, in a snowstorm at Fort Keogh, Montana, the world’s largest snowflakes were reported, being 15 inches wide and 8 inches thick and, interestingly enough, no two were alike.

   On this day in 1962, a woman in Zimbabwe was stung by bees 2,443 times and survived. Oww!!They knew it was 2,443 stings because they pulled all of them out and counted them. Whatever could she have said to those bees?!

   On this day in 1978, hard rock singer Ted Nugent autographed a fan’s arm with his knife, typical stuff for Ted, really. Ted owns 350 guns. He’s so far to the right; he makes George Bush look like a socialist. Ted is on the record as saying about Iraq “Our failure has been not to Nagasaki them”. Ted claims to “have busted more hippies’ noses than all the narcs in the free world.” No wonder they wanted him as a member of the board of directors of the National Rifle Association. You want a steady hand at the tiller, don’t you?

   On this day in 1984, Mr. Glynn Wolfe married for a record 26th time in Las Vegas. You know the difference between a container of yogurt and Mr. Wolfe’s wives? That’s right; the yogurt container has a longer “Best Before” date.

   If your birthday is January 28th, you share it with famous American painter Jackson Pollock who was born on this day in 1912. He was what they call an “abstract expressionist”, which means, that if you don’t appreciate art, his paintings look very much like an explosion at a paint factory.

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