Today in Hystery January 30th

   On this day in 1661, Oliver Cromwell, who had been Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England, had been dead and buried two years on this date when the government decided to dig him up and execute him. Yes, you heard right. It was obviously cheaper than most executions because they didn’t have to offer him a blindfold, a cigarette and ask him if he had any last words. So, they executed the dead body. I believe that’s what they call a stiff sentence.

   On this day in 1790, a lifeboat was first tested at sea by the inventor of the lifeboat; Mr. Greathead. I’m sure that the toilet designed for lifeboats was named after him.

   On this day in 1804, the Scottish explorer, Mungo Park, left England seeking the source of Africa’s Niger River. Of course he had to be an explorer! When your name is Mungo Park, you don’t become an accountant.

   On this day in 1936, the new owners of the Boston Braves asked newspapermen to pick a new nickname for their baseball team. “Hmm, let’s see, they wear white pants, black shoes and red socks…what about the Boston White Pants?”

   On this day in 1958, the first two-way moving sidewalk went into service in Dallas Texas. People had seen moving sidewalks before that, but only while they were coming home at 2am from a night at the Fox and Firkin.

   On this day in 1968, Bobby Goldsboro recorded his biggest hit, called “Honey”. You know how Seven-Elevens play sappy music outside their doors to keep kids from hanging around? If they played “Honey” over and over, they would not only keep kids away, most small animals would be committing suicide.

   On this day in 1973, the band KISS played their first concert in New York. Boy! You don’t see shows like that anymore. Oh wait! Yes you do! KISS is still doing concerts and I’ll bet they’re still great, as long as you don’t mind staring at a 62-year old tongue.

   If your birthday is January 30th, you share it with singer and drummer Phil Collins who was born on this day in 1951. Phil claims that after his song “Sussudio” became a hit, people started naming their children “Sussudio”. I haven’t met any myself, but I have met a few kids named “Testify”.

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