On this day in 305, Emperor Gaius Aurelius Valerius Diocletianus Jovius of Rome resigned. He was forced to step down. People just got tuckered out having to say all those names when they spoke to him.
On this day in 1394, a Japanese Zen teacher named Ekiho, exorcised the Zen temple and its surroundings from an old badger. This, ladies and gentlemen is what is called ‘an historical event”. Exorcised a badger, eh? And I suppose there were witnesses who saw the badger’s head spinning round just before he threw up the pea soup?
On this day in 1528, a Spanish explorer named Pánfilo the Narváez arrived in Florida with 350 men to start exploring the place And when they returned to Spain a year later, they marched off the boat wearing black knee socks, white shoes, surfer shirts and were calling each other ‘Morty’.
On this day in 1576, Stefan Batory, the reigning Prince of Transylvania, married Anna Jagiellon and they become the co-rulers of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. It was a beautiful wedding, people wept, especially when the priest announced, “You may now bite the bride.”
On this day in 1704, the Boston Newsletter published the first newspaper ad in America. The ad read, “Pilgrims’ Reunion Dance Thursday at Plymouth Rock. BYOB (Bring Your Own Blunderbuss)”
On this day in 1884, construction began on Chicago’s first skyscraper. It was 10 stories high. Seems odd but I guess in those days the sky was a lot lower than we know it today.
On this day in 1889, Bayer first introduced Aspirin in Germany. Prior to that, if you lived with a constant headache, the only relief was to divorce him.
On this day in 1929, Brooklyn’s Johnny Finn set the 100-yard sack race record by crossing the finish line in 14.4 seconds. Seriously? They had professional sack races back then? I must look up the world record for the Three-legged race, oh, and don’t forget the Egg and Spoon Race. Where have those great old sports gone?
If your birthday is May 1st, you share it with Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington, who was born on this day in 1769. He is famous for being the general who beat Napoleon at Waterloo plus for being one of Britain’s prime ministers. These days, though, we remember him because of the footwear named after him, the ‘Wellies’. Footwear is rarely named after leaders although I believe the very popular Crocs are named after George W. Bush.
Tags: arthur wellesley, aspirin, bayer, Bob Robertson, boston newsletter, brooklyn's johnny finn, cbc radio comedy shows, chicago's first skyscraper, comedy blog, crocs, Double Exposure Radio, egg and spoon race, exorcised a badger, florida, funny, George W. Bush, germany, humour, japanese zen teacher, parody, pilgrims, prince of transylvania, sack race, satire, spanish explorer, stefan batory, the duke of wellington, three-legged race, today in History, today in hystery