Movie Scenes from “The Stanley Cup Finals”
Screenplay by Bob Robertson
Scene One. Fade in: Night. It’s the corner of Robson and Howe Street in Vancouver. A riot is going on in the street. A police car nearby is overturned and burning. Store windows are being smashed in. Looters are dragging everything they can find out of stores. A mob of rioters turns its attention to the Chapters/Indigo Book store and smashes the windows. They rush inside and stand staring at all the shelves full of books.
What da fuck are all those things?
Scene Two. Day. Vancouver Police Headquarters. A group of police officers are gathered round a screen watching video of last night’s rioting. The police chief walks in.
I want all those rioters and looters identified and brought in. Find out who those guys are.
We have already identified quite a few of them chief. There’s twelve guys named Kesler. Four guys named Bieksa and there’s a looter named Naslund. Dumb bastards forgot we can read their names on the back.
Scene Three. Day. Three days after the Stanley Cup riot. On a packed Sky Train heading east on the Millenium Line. Ever since the Stadium/Chinatown Station, Bob has been staring at a man in the opposite seat. The heavy set man is in his 70s and is wearing a Canuck’s jersey. Bob can’t take his eyes off the man’s face. Fed up with Bob’s staring, the man finally speaks.
What the hell are you staring at?
I was just wondering when you were going to shave off your Playoff Eyebrows.
Tags: Bob Robertson, burning police car, canucks jersey, chapters indigo, Double Exposure Radio, funny, humour, looters, millenium line, parody, riot, robson and howe street, satire, skytrain, stanley cup final