Archives from March, 2012

Mar 12

The Blessed Hockey Helmet

“Does holding that helmet up in front of 10,000 evangelicals and having them pray for its owner, make that a magical helmet with…I don’t know…super powers?”

Mar 12

Mayan Horror March 23rd

272 days and counting until the end of the Mayan Calendar
Today’s quote from Bob Robertson’s book, “Mayan Horror: How to Survive to Survive the End of the world in 2012”
“One more important thing about the Mayans is that they weren’t a monotheistic society, which, for you those of you who didn’t get past grade 6, [...]

Mar 12

Mayan Horror March 19th

“Why does this calendar stop at 11:11am Universal Time on December 21st, 2012?” Nobody really knows the answer, but I have a theory; burn out. The guy who chiseled the calendar just got fed up. The chiseler, let’s call him Mictxecacihuatxl, was chiseling away on his rock when he just said, “Screw this noise! Do they have any idea how long it takes to chisel 10 thousand years worth of dates? And they’re only paying me 20 beans a month and all the chimichangas I can eat! Forget it! Maybe it’s time to open that dance studio I’ve fantasized about.” And the chiseler downed tools just after chiseling “12/21/2012” and went off to open “Mictxecacihuatxl’s School of Mexican Hat and Chicken Dancing”.