276 days and counting until the end of the Mayan Calendar
Today’s quote from Bob Robertson’s book, “Mayan Horror: How to Survive to Survive the End of the world in 2012”
“Most importantly, the Mayans invented calendars and not just the big one that we think will cause ‘all Hell to break loose’. The Mayans had a whole bunch of calendars, but the one that concerns us is the calendar the Mayans called “The Long Count Calendar”, a calendar that was designed to go for thousands of years. So the question we are all asking ourselves right now is, “Why does this calendar stop at 11:11am Universal Time on December 21st, 2012?” Nobody really knows the answer, but I have a theory; burn out. The guy who chiseled the calendar just got fed up. The chiseler, let’s call him Mictxecacihuatxl, was chiseling away on his rock when he just said, “Screw this noise! Do they have any idea how long it takes to chisel 10 thousand years worth of dates? And they’re only paying me 20 beans a month and all the chimichangas I can eat! Forget it! Maybe it’s time to open that dance studio I’ve fantasized about.” And the chiseler downed tools just after chiseling “12/21/2012” and went off to open “Mictxecacihuatxl’s School of Mexican Hat and Chicken Dancing”. You may think that sounds like an odd way to condemn the world to ruin, but nobody else seems to have any better ideas as to why the Mayan Calendar stops on December 21st.
“Mayan Horror: How to Survive the End of the World in 2012” is published by Anvil Press and is available at bookstores throughout Canada and at online book sellers around the world.
Tags: 2012, anvil press, Bob Robertson, chimichangas, comedy blog, december 21st 2012, Double Exposure, end of the world, funny book, humour, mayan calendar, mayan horror, parody, satire, the long count calendar